Single and Married

A lot of things, or should i say changes, happen with ladies at various stages of their lives. This particular one we will be delibrating on today is why people discard their single friends when they get married....

I was even gonna ask if there's any place in the Bible or constitution that says when a lady marries she should stop talking with or be close to her friends that are still single.

Out of curiosity I asked some random ladies and gentlemen and I got some response that made me laugh for almost a week whenever I remember it.
Here are the dialogues below:

Lady 1: After my marriage I stopped reaching out to my single friends because we are no longer in the same class. There is nothing for us to discuss anymore. They are not married and won't understand.

Me: Aunty understand what? Is there a place in the book you signed on your wedding day that says do away with your friends?

Lady 2: Oh well, for me my husband said he doesn't wanna see them around me. That when a woman marries she begins to make  new friends that are also married and understand marriage, know what it entails or have experience.

Me: Aunty please did you marry when you were still a teenager? I don't wanna believe you entered marriage naived.

Lady 3: Lol.....Golden see enh, I have crazy friends oooo, so it was just wise to keep them far, although I still hang out with them once in a while. I can't discard them entirely, they are my childhood friends. ******

Guy 1: Oh boy! I noticed after 5months of marriage that my wife and I were having. She had a problem with my friends. Golden you know how you women think na. She felt they will arrange babes for me. So instead of seeing her complain anytime I say I wanna go hangout with the guys I just cut it. I can't shout

Me: 🙃🙃🙃😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂Ok oooo.

Guy 2: Omo I cannot discard my friends oooo, because I am married. Before she came in as my wife me and these guys have been through the roughness of life. They also sponsored the wedding in one way or the order. No offense oooo, my friends, I and my wife, we are all friends. I do not think it is wise doing away with them just because my title changed from  M to Mr. Although I try to balance it ooo. I do not give my wife's time to them. Infact sometimes when I disturb her she reminds me I haven't hung out with the boys, just to give her some time to rest or so🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂

Me: hmmmm.


For me, I so not think we should do away with our friends just because we are married. It is ok not to be so close as before, which I still do not see the need for.

What changes after marriage? Yeah you would need space with your spouse, understandable, but that doesn't mean you should feel more important or superior to them just cause of that. I think we should just apply wisdom to this. It is those same friends you left you'd still run to when you have issues...

How can you have great, supportive, smart, intelligent single/childhood friends and you distance yourself from them just because you are married? Most of these friends that are single can still be of help to you in one way or the other. You are not an island. Your husband/wife cannot be the only person you relate or talk to.

I am not saying you should always hang out with your friends and neglect your marital duties. I am saying a friend built for long shouldn't be discarded just because of a "Marriage Title", because in my opinion nothing changed. May God give us the wisdom to do the right things.

This is my opinion though, what do you think?

Monologue On my eating habit

See me see wahala o. I posted an image on my status. A small plate of spaghetti o. Na him one of my friends on WhatsApp finish me. See below⬇️
Note: I have used a fictional name to protect the person's identity.

Bello: This woman. Only you coke, pizza, bread, ice cream... Indomie, suya ...eba, rice, spaghetti

Bello: So for now all these cabs dont find physical expression....?

Bello: Last last you jump a bus or two, treck a mile or two

Bello: Now you have delivery boys who deliver your goods

Bello: Until God blesses your hustle, you get a car, move to a new apartment

Bello: You dont go out too much except for fun

Bello: At first it is a chubby cheek then round ass, men are staring, your boobs are fuller boys are kicking stone committing lookrey

Bello: Then the stored cabs start to find expression

Bello: You think there is an incentive so you eat some more. One morning you wake up to a nasty bulge on your tommy

Bello: You have an unwanted pregnancy... but there is no baby

Bello: You think a fast will sort it, or an exercise here will trim it

Bello: Some mean guy makes jest of you and calls you fatty or biggy bele

Bello: You get livid. You tell your boyfriend because he asked how your day went

Bello: Then he says, "well baby,  pele dear, but you need to  watch your weight"

"What do you mean,am I fat?"  You become apprehensive he apologises..

You are depressed and you begin to get defensive as a means of coping...

We eventually become what we eat...

Orobor no be enjoyment

Me: 😂🤣🤣🤣😂 What's my crime now.. shey I should not eat again?😂🤣🤣🤣🤣

So whats the moral of this story?
The thing is, we should watch what we eat. Trust me, alot of ladies have lost their homes to slay mamas because they forgot how they looked before they got married, or should I say they got so relaxed and ate whatever passes simply because they feel they have completed their God given assignment to multiply🤣😂😂😂😂.

What I don't even understand is how some bloat after given birth. Please ladies let's watch what we put in our mouth and also endeavor to workout.

Having a healthy and beautiful body comes with its own sacrifices.

Your Worth

The economy of Nigeria has made it so difficult for us to act our worth. These days depression has been the order of the day. We have lost our self worth so much that we value our self less than we truely are worth.

We tend to feel less important or less beautiful if we don't get compliment from orders.... Stop there,  who told you that you cannot compliment yourself?

Everyone wants to be noticed, successful at al. Some people have this mentality that you are only recognized by your wealth. Says who? There are lots of billionaires and trillionaire in Nigeria that we don't even know.

Knowing your worth is you knowing who you are, what you are capable of doing and believing in yourself. Why let irrelevant things borther you? Why let things that don't matter make you depressed?

For those of us in business. When you know your worth, you would not beg a customer/client to patronise you. You have a standard. Maintain your standard and don't go lower just because of Nigeria economy. If he/she wouldn't pay the right amount for your product/services let them go. Don't reduce your self, because when you do, standing on that standard will be difficult.

Truth is, when you start going below your standard you will keep going below it.

Ladies if he hits you in a relationship please take a walk. Leave the relationship. Leaving the relationship isn't a weakness, it is you realising your worth. Don't let him fool you with "I love you that's why I hit you..." 😒👿 Seriously you can't be that stupid 😒. If he doesn't treat you right leave and same goes to the guys.
Over time I realised that when we choose to be matured, we begin to think right, realising how stupid or foolish we have been in the past and correcting the errors. At this stage you are beginning to know your worth.

Who says you need alot of friends to survive? All you need is the right friend and your worth is what attracts them.

Never let anyone talk you down, do not give no one the power to steal your happiness. You have the right to be happy. Not even Nigerian economy has the right to take it from you.

Some of us keep saying "country hard" yet businesses are growing, companies are growing. Look for means to add value to people in exchange for money and know your worth. Stand with your head high and tall, walk upright with your shoulders high, build yourself, it isn't pride, it is knowing your self - worth

I believe I am speaking to someone at this point, I believe I am helping someone come out of his or her depression. We are blacks, we are Africans and we are strong.

Valentine's Day

Hey you there where are you going to? My friend go home joor so because you heard February 14th is Valentine's day you have decided to go and give your body out in place for what?  An iPhone? Hmmmm ok oooooo, I can imagine how long you have been planning to scam that guy, you don't love him but you have been playing along and planning Feb 14...in jenifas voice' Wehdon sir, Wehdon ma.

Valentine's day is a day set aside to show love to others not to open your legs for him because he promised you a car, an iPhone or some money.
Ladies be wise. What even hurts me most is that some young girls decide to loose their diginty on Val's day what for? An item that depreciates how sad forgetting that if they are not lucky by November they'd be a mother😂🤣😂🤣🤣 or get infected or so.

Guys don't be dumb, you are planning to spend all your savings just to impress a lady on Val's day hmmm your own stupidity is still trekking to Asorock. We miss the reason for the celebration. If you don't know what to do I would tell :
1. You can take some cloths, provisions and money to the motherless baby home
2. You can visit the hospital, see people in the wards, so you can be grateful to God for each air you breath.
3. Visit the cell, you have been doing little shaddy shaddy things and you go free, in there you'd see innocent people wasting.
4. Visit your friends, your family or go to the hospital for a general check-up Etc

Wife if your husband didn't take you out today or buy anything for you, don't be sad, instead cook him a delicious meal after all you guys have forever to each other, let one day celebration that isn't even your own celebration cause an issue in your home after all celebration of love is supposed to be an everyday thing not a once in a year thing, so don't worry.

Husbands if your wife didnt buy you anything or do anything special don't make it a big deal... She could be fagged out with the kids and work, so far as you know she loves you and she shows it. Valentine's days shouldn't have so much effect as to cause turbulence in your home.

We are supposed to show love to others every single day not just one day in a year. And if Val's day is a big deal for you, I wanna ask what then happens to the remaining days that isn't Valentine's day? Don't work your self up, or better still take your self out who says you cannot spend your money on your self! Do what makes you happy, go to the movies if you want, or any where you know they prepare your special delicacy. Just be happy Sha.... Las Las ama wa alright. 😀😍



With love from me.
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

Do you have it all?

It's annoying how we deliberately seek things we cannot give, what am I even saying?? things we don't have… Yet we all know, you cannot give what you don't have.

I asked a guy, “Why don't you want to settle with Cassandra?” and he replied “because she's not tall, and she’s not as curvy as I want my woman to be.” I laughed so hard when he said that and I said to him “uncle take a good look at yourself, you that you’re 6months pregnant you are looking for hour glass shape, how about you look by example.” LMAO.

Not just the guys alone, I also asked a lady why she declined a guy she said “he doesn't have the kind of money I want, he has pot belly, and he is not as tall as I would have loved him to be.” After hearing this I started looking for where to faint  😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣. This lady in question has a fat tummy, as in lower big tummy, and terrible knock kneels.

I do not understand the problem with some people... I can understand the special preference, maybe because you’re short, you look for someone who is tall, so you won’t produce dwarfs… But I don’t understand when some ladies say: I need a guy who has packs, who is tall, cute, sexy, romantic, and above all, have money…. Sister!! let me ask, do you have the kind of money you want? Infact, does your father have the kind of money you expect him to have? You better take your time!

Guys una own can be so annoying you'd be looking for a lady with an athletic body, very tall, curvy, sexy, must be poise, good educational background blah blah blah... you for kuku say you want marry oyibo woman. Some guys will say she is not petit, I like petit ladies so I can carry her around. Lol uncle Weldon you will tell me if she be hankerchief wey dem dey carry around. Let me ask, do you have some of the qualities you are looking for? Infact does your sister posses all these qualities? Let us be reasonable.

There is so much more to the passage that says " He who finds a wife" some of these single ladies and gentlemen between the age of 37-45 have actually found, but they are looking for something else forgetting the scripture says "He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favour from the Lord" Proverbs 18:22

There's heavenly favor attached with marriage, as long as your wife is a good thing!
God bless us all and help us through life's journey.

Her wedding Ceremony

This is what I think; some ladies aren't being fair to guys, by the kind of wedding they want. What they fail to realise is that after the wedding ceremony comes the marriage, and that's the most ‘importanter’ Lol if I must use that.

Meet a lady, and ask where she wants to do her wedding? you'd hear ‘if possible I'd love to do it in Paris, London, Dubai or another foreign country, I'll want top musicians to grace my day, blah blah blah….'

Some other ladies would tell you I want a big wedding with 1,000 guests, caterers everywhere, infact it will be buffet (serve your self), my wedding gown will be made by the best and most popular fashion designer, and so on….

Lastly, let me ask you ladies what happened to doing a simple wedding with just 50guests in attendance? This is one of the reasons why alot of ladies stay single for a long time, and that extravagant wedding they want would end up being a parlor wedding.

Ladies let us be reasonable... Redeem standard says if he has a house, a bed, gas or stolve, and has a job(I mean a steady source of income) if he says he wants to marry you and you love him, grow with him. I know we want a rich man, a man who is already established but marriage and life isn't about marrying the rich man it is about marrying the man you love, cherish, respect, adore and can make the Lord of your home just like Christ is for the church.

Most ladies don't mind having a very big wedding and drinking Garri or having huge debts to settle. Mind you, those people you want to please will not live with you and your husband they'll eat your rice, drink your wine, they may not even spray money or give any gifts.

The type of Wedding ceremony you do doesn't show or tell how your marriage would be.
Let's be wise. God help us all

Pastors stay Woke!!!

I am not going to sugar coat the way churches or should I say the way pastors have choosen to run the house of the Lord. How will you say you want to do a program called "feed the poor" when poor people plenty for your church.

The church is not a charity organization yeh that's true I get that,  but don't forget those people come into the house of the Lord beliving they would be met at the point of there need one way or the other. It is high time the church system changes and become the original plan of what God wants a church to be.

I am not against tithing, offerings and the likes what I am against is the church not using it's funds to help it's members. Truth is God don't come at night to pick all the money made in services from churches at night neither does he send his angels to come and take all the money, he doesn't need it, he owns all things, the heavens and the earth and everything therein belongs to him what then does churches do with the money?

Imagine members of a church trekking to church or Bible studies and when they seek help from church through their pastor, the pastors tells them to "Have Faith", Excuse you stop telling a hungry man it is well, give him food first before anything. Let us be real and honest I am tired of some eyeservice some churches do, they will organise programs where they will snap pictures of them in horrible and terrible places, make videos of how they go to the poorest places in Lagos to give them cloth and food where as their member is suffering, don't have food to eat or cloths to wear.

Annoyingly some are so angry with churches that instead of winning souls we are loosing souls. Some church members would rather prefer to ask an unbeliever or a random person for help instead of asking the church which is bad. We keep saying our government is the reason for high corruption rate and prostitution but I want to tell you the church has also played a great role in that.

Imagine this scenario a lady goes to her church pastor with financial issues that just one of the pastors can handle himself pleadings they help with her school fee and the church/pastor says have faith God is about to do something and they just pray with her and leaves, do you wanna tell me if a married man sees her on the road asked what the problem is, she tells him and he says he will give her, her school fee if she sleeps with him, do you think she wouldn't succumb or think about it? Most guys are now desperate, look at the pant thingy trending, jigolos everywhere. Churches and pastors should better stay woke.

It is breaking my heart that the place where some people come to find help and peace is where hatred, greed and politic is most displayed.
God help us.