I was even gonna ask if there's any place in the Bible or constitution that says when a lady marries she should stop talking with or be close to her friends that are still single.
Out of curiosity I asked some random ladies and gentlemen and I got some response that made me laugh for almost a week whenever I remember it.
Here are the dialogues below:
Lady 1: After my marriage I stopped reaching out to my single friends because we are no longer in the same class. There is nothing for us to discuss anymore. They are not married and won't understand.
Me: Aunty understand what? Is there a place in the book you signed on your wedding day that says do away with your friends?
Lady 2: Oh well, for me my husband said he doesn't wanna see them around me. That when a woman marries she begins to make new friends that are also married and understand marriage, know what it entails or have experience.
Me: Aunty please did you marry when you were still a teenager? I don't wanna believe you entered marriage naived.
Lady 3: Lol.....Golden see enh, I have crazy friends oooo, so it was just wise to keep them far, although I still hang out with them once in a while. I can't discard them entirely, they are my childhood friends. ******
Guy 1: Oh boy! I noticed after 5months of marriage that my wife and I were having. She had a problem with my friends. Golden you know how you women think na. She felt they will arrange babes for me. So instead of seeing her complain anytime I say I wanna go hangout with the guys I just cut it. I can't shout
Me: 🙃🙃🙃😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂Ok oooo.
Guy 2: Omo I cannot discard my friends oooo, because I am married. Before she came in as my wife me and these guys have been through the roughness of life. They also sponsored the wedding in one way or the order. No offense oooo, my friends, I and my wife, we are all friends. I do not think it is wise doing away with them just because my title changed from M to Mr. Although I try to balance it ooo. I do not give my wife's time to them. Infact sometimes when I disturb her she reminds me I haven't hung out with the boys, just to give her some time to rest or so🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂
Me: hmmmm.
For me, I so not think we should do away with our friends just because we are married. It is ok not to be so close as before, which I still do not see the need for.
What changes after marriage? Yeah you would need space with your spouse, understandable, but that doesn't mean you should feel more important or superior to them just cause of that. I think we should just apply wisdom to this. It is those same friends you left you'd still run to when you have issues...
How can you have great, supportive, smart, intelligent single/childhood friends and you distance yourself from them just because you are married? Most of these friends that are single can still be of help to you in one way or the other. You are not an island. Your husband/wife cannot be the only person you relate or talk to.
I am not saying you should always hang out with your friends and neglect your marital duties. I am saying a friend built for long shouldn't be discarded just because of a "Marriage Title", because in my opinion nothing changed. May God give us the wisdom to do the right things.
This is my opinion though, what do you think?
Nice post, most times, ladies use this as a way of just showing off and being proud but I agree with you, you just disconnect from people like that bcos of a marriage title except of course, such friendship is not profitable at all
ReplyDeleteIt is well, but God grant us the grace to apply wisdom when it comes to sustaining friendships after marriage. although we definitely can't remain friends with everyone
ReplyDeleteHmmmm....had to control my lafter while reading d opinions from d ladies..very funny indeed... Levels don shange.. To me,its not wise to cut off ur friends totally just cos ur married.. But, if any friend is a bad influence has contradictory/negative influence on u, den be wise, don't cut off totally ,just keep ur distance wisely from dem... Just stating my opinion.. .
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